Potty Training Edition

Have you ever stopped to think about how you speak during potty training?

Because it matters, more than most parents realise.

The words we use can either build confidence and safety…
or create pressure, shame, and resistance.

If you’ve ever felt unsure about what to say in the moment, this guide will help you rephrase with intention and support your child in a calmer, more effective way.

1. Keep It Light, Not Loaded

✔️ Do Say:
“Let’s read this funny book together.”

❌ Don’t Say:
“Sit ON the potty now and read this. You need to learn to wear big girl pants.”

Why this matters:
Potty learning should be gently integrated into everyday life, not forced or loaded with expectations. When we attach pressure, children feel it, and often resist it.

2. Remove Pressure Around “Growing Up”

✔️ Do Say:
“Bye bye big soggy nappy!” (wave and giggle together)

❌ Don’t Say:
“Get rid of that nappy now! You’re too big for that!”

Why this matters:
Using words like “big” can feel intimidating rather than empowering. Potty learning isn’t about rushing children to grow up, it’s about helping them feel safe and ready.

3. Normalize the Body

✔️ Do Say:
“I love the way you stopped to do a poo when your body needed to work.”

❌ Don’t Say:
“Ew! Yucky poo! We need to clean you quickly!”

Why this matters:
Our bodies are doing exactly what they’re supposed to do. When we react with disgust, children can begin to associate shame with natural bodily functions, and that can impact them long-term.

4. Encourage Awareness, Not Rewards

✔️ Do Say:
“Well done! You noticed your body and used the potty.” (high five)

❌ Don’t Say:
“If you do another wee on the potty, you can have sweets or chocolate.”

Why this matters:
Using food as a reward can create unhealthy associations and shift the focus away from internal awareness. Potty learning is about helping children listen to their bodies, not perform for rewards.

Why Language Matters So Much

Children are constantly learning, not just from what we do, but from what we say.

Your words shape how they:

• Feel about their body

• Respond to new experiences

• Build confidence and independence

A small shift in language can turn a stressful moment into a supportive one.

Let’s Wrap It Up

Potty learning isn’t just about what children do,
it’s about how they feel while they’re learning to do it.

When we:

• Remove pressure

• Use calm, positive language

• Focus on awareness instead of outcomes

…we create an environment where children feel safe, capable, and understood.

And that’s where real learning happens.

So next time you’re in a potty learning moment, pause and ask yourself:

“Am I guiding… or am I pressuring?”

Because the way you say it,
can change everything. 

Love,

Lisa xx